Lots of people, actually.

How’s that for overkill? They wanted to kill MJ off (oh hey wow, deja vu), so they blew up an entire plane.

Of course, everyone knew she wasn’t dead (is anyone, in comics?) and it has since been ignored (“Hey Aunt May, remember that time everyone thought you were dead?” “Oh yes dearie. But the time we thought you were dead was much more interesting”).

To me, the Citadel aliens smack of racial caricature, much as Jar Jar Binks did. They speak broken “English”, are ebony skinned, are shown to be lazy and greedy, and are womanizers. What’s worse is that I can’t decide if I’m actually seeing something or if I’m actually being racist by making this connection.

Here’s an entire page, reproduced. The guy in the fez is the ruler of the Citadel, a star-spanning, world conquering empire.

Help me figure out if I should be offended or ashamed of myself!

Here’s a thought….

…maybe wait until a title is at least written before hyping it?

Seven years later and still waiting.

Mmmm. Vapor comics.

She can see the future.

No Kory, not always.

Sometimes they just get horribly maimed.

This still gets me.

Rebooting ASM with issue one. Okay, fine. Jump on point for new readers.

Except they continued the ongoing stories and same creative team as the issue before.

Why?

Just seems kinda half-hearted.

He’s not all that bright.

Why would you write a letter if you can actually tell them in person? He has super-speed.

What’s great is that at the end of the issue he realizes this and runs the letter home.

“Here mom, I wrote you a letter-aren’t you done reading that yet? Now? How about now? Dear G-d you’re slow!”

I’ve heard of specialized newspapers, but this seems a bit counterproductive?

A newspaper where criminals can advertise for henchpeople? Really?

Some concepts just meld together beautifully.

This? this is not one of them.

Yes, that’s really the Silver Surfer merged with Carnage’s symbiot.

Yes, the story was just as bad as you were thinking.

No, I don’t know why they felt the need to inflict that on the reading public.

I knew Raven and Robin were close, but not this close.

“I need a bat-cigarette”

I’m not setting out to be a continuity freak. Really. This one is just so glaring, I couldn’t leave it be.

As some of you may recall, MJ was pregnant in the 90′s. She eventually gave birth, only the baby was stillborn.

Or.. was it?

Right after the baby was born we saw someone spirit something away and give it to an odd woman, Allison, who ran off on a boat to “take care of” the little bundle.

Later it was “revealed” that Osborn was the mastermind behind this whole thing, but they didn’t yet officially reveal who was being cared for. Except for the fact that Allison had tons of baby stuff. Plus she talks to her captive like it is a baby.

It was fairly obvious that Allison actually had baby Parker.

Somewhere along the line the powers that be at Marvel decided not to go that route (except Tom DeFalco). It was instead revealed that the person being cared for was Aunt May. The Aunt May who died in an earlier issue (years before Allison is brought in as a “caretaker”), was secretly an actress who somehow knew all these intimate details about Peter.

But wait, how to retcon all the baby stuff out, you ask? We can’t just ignore it, can we?

Oh that’s easy

I couldn’t get a good scan, but in the next issue, we find out there’s a dog in the crib. That’s who she’s been talking to – her dog. Her dog that she keeps in a crib.

What the fig?

Remember kids, babies… Bad. Marriage? Bad. Elder aunts? Awesomesauce.

We can’t have Spider-Man be more than a whining, stunted man-child, now can we?