I think I’ve gone and lost all my Metal Man scanned pages and quips.

“Bruce? Why are you taking your clothes off in my bedroom? Why are you giving me that look?”

Go to your Happy Place, Dick.

This is one that can’t be chalked up to a “lingual shift”, as it is from this decade.

When did “have your way with me” imply anything other than impending attempted rape?

Naw, there’s nothing squicky about an underage boy talking about buying a blow-up doll. It’s perfectly normal!

Tough guy detective Slam Bradly is disappointed.

“Darnit, I can’t hit a woman! Now if only it had been a kid, that’d make it okay.”

Peter thinks MJ is alive and a captive in Latveria on page 1.

Don’t worry Aunt May, Peter has a plan! What is it, you ask?

Panel one of the next page,..

Wait, what was the plan?

Are they implying that Peter hid in the un-pressurized wheel-well for a multiple-hour flight? How did he breathe? How did he not freeze to death? Hell, how did he take care of bodily functions?

Wait, I know. It was MAGIC!

I feel much better about the whole thing now.

Here’s a thorny one:

How, exactly, does a man with no facial features actually talk? For that matter, how does he see, hear or breath?

And no, that isn’t a mask.

Bonus WWTT: Do you think Bruce goes up to every man in Gotham with a green coat and hat and asks if they’re Jed?

This is right up there with the old “Spider-Man: Threat or Menace” Bugle headlines?

“Does Brother Blood’s sweat taste like ice cream or candy? Tune in next week!”

I feel like I’m watching coverage of the current US Presidential race.

Anyone remember Gwen’s cousin Jill? They brought her in during Byrne’s run, where she was constantly making eyes at Peter, her new best friend’s husband.

She wasn’t subtle about it either.

She spends a blackout with Peter in an otherwise forgettable issue, culminating in this:

A question to my readers who have been in long-term relationships!

If you had been waiting all Valentine’s Day for your Significant Other, to the point that you fell asleep on the couch? what would be your reaction if you woke up to your best friend thanking him for the best Valentine’s Day ever? Keep in mind he has not called you all day and is sans gift.

I wonder if Jill will be back post-OMD?

Feel the hate?

Convenient that the Newspaper just happened to have Chinese typesetting. I wonder how much extra it costs. Also, what are the odds that The Batman only knows one person of Chinese descent?

But the first panel’s the real kicker. See, based on the murder weapon, The Batman has already figured out that the killer must be Chinese, as only Chinese people kill with a hatchet. Really.

That was issue 39. Check out issue the cover to issue 40:

That’d be an Anglo hatchet-wielder on the cover.