(Probably not funny)

The real reason Thomas was going to leave

“I have a Vice Presidential Campaign to run!”

Now that Thomas knows Hal’s alter ego, he has a request.

The guy really wanted a mind-wipe, and I can’t blame him. Still, Hal reassures him.

“Sure, you’ll be a target, but I’m okay with that!”

Also, a note on “great fish hooks” – this would become “jumping fish hooks”.

Because y’know, that’s so much better.

So how did Thomas learn Hal’s ID? Simple!

First he see’s Hal fight:

Then he sees GL fight:

“Only one man fights like that! Well, fought like that. Once.”

Brilliance.

Meet Hal Jordan’s confidant, the one person who knew his ID, Thomas Kalmaku.

Thomas was better known by his nickname, which you’ll see below (note: includes Monday’s panel).

Gee, I wonder what’s gotten into him?

Maybe because you call him “That Eskimo” behind his back, and call him “Pieface” to his face!

That’s not fair, actually. Hal generally just calls him “Pie”.

Get it? As in “Eskimo Pie”?

Hey Kids, Race-baiting!

Seriously though, “Pie” is cool with it

“You’re the best whiney bigot I’ve had the pleasure of knowing.”

What, I ask you, is going on here?

I get that the guy in the back is probably spraying defoliant.

However, it looks like Batman is doing a little defoliating of his own, if you know what I mean.

Nudge, nudge. Wink, wink.

…

I need help.

Hal just doesn’t get the message:

I’m ashamed to admit this, but think I was basically Hal when I was in college.

“Is it because I’m too needy? I can totally be less needy. Just tell me what I need to do so you’ll love meee”

Here’s a cliché & bad science rolled into one:

The science:

How far below freezing would it have to be for that water to be freezing on contact with the air? Why isn’t it frozen in the planter? Also, how many trips did they have to take to make all that ice with that tiny planter?

You’re dead of frostbite and asphyxiation, that’s where you are.

And of course, he breaks out… despite the fact he should have been dead before he ever regained consciousness. There’s no air in there.

I can’t count how many times this happens in comics – someone is frozen, then “gets out”. Um, no. You get frozen, you’re basically doomed.

(and yeah, I know the ring protects him from mortal harm. This was just a good example in general… and the planter thing cracks me up)

Dramatization:
“Okay, we need to come up with a great idea this time.”
“Let’s go back to the core concept – a bunch of kid heroes.”
“Yeah, that’s a great idea. Only let’s tie them all together somehow other than being sidekicks.”
“Okay… what if they’re all alien half breeds, and their parents are going to invade Earth.”
“That’s good! What else ya got!”
“We just de-aged the Atom. Let’s have him be the “elder statesman”. He can always be whining about how no-one takes him seriously.”
“That works too. Okay, so who do we get as a writer?”
“Jurgens says he’ll do it. He de-aged the Atom in the first place, and we’ve still got buzz from his run on Superman”
“Great! For art, let’s get someone classic, someone like George Perez! He’s the definitive Titans artist for an entire generation of fans, so that will net the old fans who would otherwise be alienated by the concept!”
“Nah… let’s just have him ink.”

…

There’s something very wrong about George Perez inking Dan Jurgens. It’s kind of like Neal Adams inking Jim Lee.

I bet that got your attention.

I give you… camel-toe from hell.

You can barely tell where the camel-toe ends and the wedgie begins.

Contortionist or not, that can’t be comfortable.

this is d from Detective comics. More Hal Hijinks soon

This is a bit of a spoiler, but even by silver age comic standards, Carol Ferris is mildly psychotic.

Here, we see her fuming over another indignity heaped on her by GL:

A page, divided:

Things I love:

1) Carol asking daddy’s permission.
2) Daddy granting permission to his daughter to marry a man they really know nothing about.
3) The editors note, retconning a scene from two issues earlier. Is that a record?

“Of all the unfortunate times…”

Carol Ferris is a dick!