Archive for October, 2008

On Panel Batman Gunplay

Oct 31, 2008 in Batman, What Were They Thinking

Batman uses a gun, on panel, followed by a note stating that he never, ever uses a gun.

I like how the phrasing is honest – he never kills with a gun.

He just gets other people to do it, or uses other means.

Also, any ballistics experts in the audience? What are the odds that the bullet stopped just there?

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Speaking of Bad Science

Oct 30, 2008 in Aquaman, Bad Science, Green Lantern, Justice League, Martian Manhunter, What Were They Thinking

Dear Gardener Fox,

You do know that the Jet Stream is not an actual stream, yes?


So lightning can turn the jet stream into water, and then it stays in the air?

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What’s That Smell?

Oct 29, 2008 in Bad Science, Green Lantern, What Were They Thinking

Smells like bull:

COLORS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY!

Nor is that even what infrared (which is not hyphenated) even means.

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Everything’s Better with Primates, Part 300.

Oct 28, 2008 in Batman, What Were They Thinking

Remember, this was an actual sales trend at DC- slap an ape or monkey on the cover, and sales would go up.

I don’t even remember the story behind this one. Still, how can you not love a gorilla in a Batman cowl?

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One Bad Dad.

Oct 27, 2008 in Justice League, What Were They Thinking

If you were reading the blog back when I was covering the Amazing Spider-Man, you may recall my languishing love for the loony linguistics of Marvels mod model*, Mary Jane. Well, let’s not ignore DC’s attempt at a hep cat of their very own… “Snapper” Carr. “Snapper”, so called because he – dig this – snapped his fingers when excited, was the Justice League’s “mascot”. Basically, he helped them in their first appearance by being the only person Starro couldn’t control, so they let him hang out. Snapper was basically their secretary, and got to go on some missions.

Snapper was supposed to be a “POV” character for the readers, I suppose, but he was just so damned annoying. Not because he was an occasionally mopey tag-along. No. Because the writers tried to make him sound “cool”.


A teenage boy vs Despero, destroyer of worlds. This should be quick.**

In the next panel, Merlin pushes Snapper out over the Grand Canyon. Well, in my version.

He’s like this in every issue, folks.

I have more examples, but I don’t want to overwhelm you with the wonder that is Snapper.

*Sorry. Stan Lee moment. I’m better now.
** It was. Snapper was immune to mind control. Makes sense.

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Famous Batman Panel

Oct 24, 2008 in Batman, Creepy Relationships, Parenting, Robin, Sexuality, Spanking, What Were They Thinking

This sequence, from Batman #10, has been making the rounds online for some time. It begins in the bottom right corner of page 1:


“A strong hand rises”? “Yielding flesh”? No folks, that’s not Photoshopped.

Turn the page! Turn the page!


It’s okay folks, nothing sexual about it. It’s just your typical, every day birthday spanks.

Given by a single male to his “young ward”.

Nope. Nothing odd.

I see why Dick puts up with it though:


“And if you spank me
back Dick, I’ll get you a boat next year”

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Political Lantern

Oct 23, 2008 in Green Lantern, What Were They Thinking

Hal is helping his brother’s campaign.

I’m sure their opponents are right up there with Mongol and Sinestro.

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Slow News Day in Coast City

Oct 22, 2008 in Green Lantern, What Were They Thinking

Coast City’s 4th Estate only covers the most hard-hitting of stories.


“Oh, and some other stuff happened, but you wouldn’t care about that“.

In case you’re interested in a breakdown of who the Jordan boys are:


“Pet” brother Jim (“so that’s the way it is in their family”) is going to play a big part in some later posts, oh yes he is….

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Batman’s Hobbies

Oct 21, 2008 in Batman, Freudian Images, What Were They Thinking

I don’t mean to judge, but The Batman’s hobbies are a little messed up.

Sort of takes “sticking it to Whitey” to a whole new level.

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Awesome

Oct 20, 2008 in Justice League, Odd Bad Guys, What Were They Thinking

Why don’t we have comic book covers like these anymore?

The Silver Age creators had the best drugs, man.

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