Howdy, y’all. Site Admin Matt behind the keyboard again. Typo’s letting me continue the Best Of series on a weekly basis, so every Sunday morning you’ll be finding an awesome post from the past.

This week I pulled one from October 2008. I’ve never actually read a Pol Manning issue of Green Lantern (the closest I got was a page in Zero Hour, which has NOT aged well, by the way), and it sounds like a cool idea. I may have to hunt some down.

In the 58th century, there arose a trouble so great that the people of Earth felt the need to use time travel to recruit the famous Hal Jordan to be their “Solar Director”. Basically, every time there was a crisis, they’d pull Hal from the past, then brain-wash him and have him be Pol Manning, intrepid explorer, hero, and puppet dictator.

It was a brilliant plan, really.

So what’s the flaw, you ask?

That’s right Iona, just close your eyes and think of Earth.

Footnote: In the 80′s, the Green Lantern Salakk was yanked to be Pol Manning instead of Hal Jordan. As Salakk was quite alien, they decided to brainwash Iona so she’d continue playing her role.

The future. Such a bright place to be!

I bet you all think I find Shiera Sanders useless. Well, that’s not true. Sure, I like the tough-as-nails Hawkworld-era Hawkwoman more, and the JLU version of Hawkgirl was my daughter’s favorite when she was five (because “She flies! And she has a hitty thing!” – and thank G-d she didn’t have a lisp), but I don’t think the Golden Age Shiera is useless. Not in so many words, anyway.
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I didn’t believe it until I saw this, but there are apparently stories where The King fights someone other than The Witch (I know, I was shocked too). In this one, he’s after a tough, gun-totting lady who’s MO is to board ships, scare the snot out of everyone by firing off a few rounds, and then dash with their cash.
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Tex Thomson, aka Mr. America, already has one of the most interesting ways of entering a room (he throws a red, white, and blue feather into the room, then once someone notices it –which likely takes quite a bit – he whistles Yankee Doodle. Really.), he also had what may be the most pimped out ride of the Golden Age.
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This may be the longest title I’ve seen in a comic:
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Site Admin Matt has returned to bring you more of the best from Typo’s nearly five year blog history! I jumped up to April 2008 for this one. It made me LOL, and I don’t usually LOL.

I just love how that Indian/Aztec guy (Is that what he’s supposed to be?) is looking right at the audience, as if to say, “I know, I know. Look, it’s a paycheck. Humor them.”

If you do not know of the joy that is “Roy Raymond, TV Detective”, then you have my pity. Roy was a supposed genius who ran a “Believe it or Not!” type TV show called “Impossible… But True!”. The basic gist is that someone would always try some sort of obviously faked scam and Roy, because he was the Smartest Man Ever, would then debunk it. Occasionally even his own cast and crew would try to pull a fast one on him.

I chose to see Roy not as a brilliant man, but a man of average intelligence stuck in a world of highly credulous idiots, particularly his girl-friday/love interest Karen.

By way of example…

“Yes Karen, that’s the amazing part. Not that a parrot can form full sentences at all, or that it can complete math equations, or even that it can somehow hold a stick of chalk in its wings despite a complete and utter lack of any kind of prehensile grip. That’s nothing. The amazing think is that it ‘speaks so well’. Why do I even keep your bigoted ass around?”

Hey guys, it’s Site Admin Matt, back with another blast from the past. Today’s post (originally published in April 2006) is a pretty good representation of Sue’s place in the Fantastic Four family.

Sue knows her place.

Once Reed puts her in it, of course.

I guess Reed believes in a variation of “women should be seen and not heard”, eh?

Site Admin Matt here. The visual on this post from April 2006 made me do an actual spit take. Like, I had to wipe off my monitor.

Thank goodness Superman doesn’t have a deviated septum, or he’d be listing to the side like a Macy’s Day balloon in the wind!

Quick snapshot of the story for ya: Superman’s doused with odd radiation that causes disaster whenever he touches the ground. He decides to get around this in a most inventive way:

Um, as fascinating a visual as that is, why doesn’t he just fly?

Oh heck. Site Admin Matt here, and I forgot until five minutes ago to get a post ready for today. Lucky for me, this one from August 2006 turned up pretty quickly!

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to hit the hay. I’m all fagged out.

Check that first panel.

“Fagged out? Try Rice Krispies!”

Um, yeah…

Site Admin Matt here with another of Typo’s Best! I just realized that I haven’t pulled any Batman out yet. It’s downright criminal, I tells ya! To correct this obvious error on my part, here’s a post from November 2005.

You know those scans of Batman threatening to spank a woman that are floating over the internet?

Well, that’s not the only time…

It’s worse in context.

He’s spanking her for trying to kill herself.

It ends up on the front page of the paper.

I bet that stopped her from wanting to end her life, eh boys?