In the story, someone other than Platinum gets told “I wish I’d never built you, you defective thing, you.”
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The below character has long been the butt of jokes in the comic book industry (indeed, I just did it myself). I think just about everyone has done it, most famously Grant Morrison.

Yes, you guessed it…

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I’m gonna end this today even if it maims me.
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Remember how I was commenting about how some heroes seem to always let their attractive female arch-foes (what is plural of “nemesis” anyway?) escape after hurting people?

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Howdy, y’all. Site Admin Matt behind the keyboard again. Typo’s letting me continue the Best Of series on a weekly basis, so every Sunday morning you’ll be finding an awesome post from the past.

This week I pulled one from October 2008. I’ve never actually read a Pol Manning issue of Green Lantern (the closest I got was a page in Zero Hour, which has NOT aged well, by the way), and it sounds like a cool idea. I may have to hunt some down.

In the 58th century, there arose a trouble so great that the people of Earth felt the need to use time travel to recruit the famous Hal Jordan to be their “Solar Director”. Basically, every time there was a crisis, they’d pull Hal from the past, then brain-wash him and have him be Pol Manning, intrepid explorer, hero, and puppet dictator.

It was a brilliant plan, really.

So what’s the flaw, you ask?

That’s right Iona, just close your eyes and think of Earth.

Footnote: In the 80′s, the Green Lantern Salakk was yanked to be Pol Manning instead of Hal Jordan. As Salakk was quite alien, they decided to brainwash Iona so she’d continue playing her role.

The future. Such a bright place to be!

I bet you all think I find Shiera Sanders useless. Well, that’s not true. Sure, I like the tough-as-nails Hawkworld-era Hawkwoman more, and the JLU version of Hawkgirl was my daughter’s favorite when she was five (because “She flies! And she has a hitty thing!” – and thank G-d she didn’t have a lisp), but I don’t think the Golden Age Shiera is useless. Not in so many words, anyway.
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This may be the longest title I’ve seen in a comic:
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Hey everybody, Site Admin Matt here with another great post plucked from the vault. As much as I hate (and I mean HATE) Valentine’s Day, this post from November 2007 just begged to be posted today.

The Titans have dirty mouths.

All this talk of “love arrows” being in “quivers” made me check for the comic code seal.

I don’t know if I can read any more Hop Harrigan stories.
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Blooey, of the military team known as Red, White, and Blue is knocked out while guarding a secret weapon. This is because he’s too busy making eyes at a dame.
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