Has thou ever looked at thine hammer?

I mean really looked at thine hammer?

I’m not the biggest fan of self-inserts. Usually, they’re clumsy and annoying, pulling you out of the story.

A good example of some bad self inserts from an otherwise good writer can be found in the early career of Warren Ellis. There was a time when it felt like every title he took over suddenly featured a chain-smoking, leather-wearing, overcoat clad tough guy, generally British. Examples include Morphine Summers in Doom 2099 and Pete Wisdom in Excalibur. Eventually he started breaking up the chain smoking/leather/British to different characters (He did this in Ultraforce and StormWatch), but it was still a “tell”.

The thing is, almost every character he created in this formula was interesting in one way or another. They were self-inserts yes, but at least they weren’t Mary Sues.

Except this guy:

When Ellis wrote the World Engine arc of Thor, he threw in this guy ? a brilliant, bad ass British chain-smoking Detective “on loan” to Code Blue. Smarter, funnier, and tougher than everyone else, of course.

Painful to read. If you want to read some good Ellis, I suggest you get Nextwave instead.

Then again, I suggest Nextwave on general pinciple.

Our digital camera done gone and died. Dangit.

It wasn’t until his second run on the title decades later, but Rascally Roy did it.

Aside from the highly disturbing first initial dialogue making it sound like The Thing intends to have his way with Sif (especially when you consider that he’s being mind controlled by the woman who raped Thor), this is noteworthy for the Thomasism (I just made that up) of having men refer to woman as “female” in dialogue.

Bonus shot for the horror of hitting a lady snapping Ben out of it.

Remember kids, don’t read Roy Thomas comics and drive.

Let’s be frank – Thor does not exactly have the coolest costume. Kirby made it look great, but under the pencil of some other artists, it looks pretty lousy (especially when those metal circlets are drawn as fabric).

With the exception of Simonson’s armored look, most Thor redesigns have been pretty boring (although I know some fans of Shirtless Thor)

The below design, however, is the worst by a mile.

Jane Foster is obviously off-panel trying to keep from laughing.

Roy Thomas returned to Thor in the 90s. This was clearly done just to make me hate comics.

He brought back the High Evolutionary (“Have you ever read ‘Origin of the Species’Â…on weed?”) and gave us not one, but two groups that he’d mucked about with (eventually three, actually).

No, no, I’d say appearances are pretty accurate, actually.

Played with an iPhone yesterday. Had fun. Maybe when they’re $250 cheaper and not with the worst network in NY.

I really do like Thor. Really. Still you have to admit, he’s not exactly a Rocket Scientist.

Here’s an example.

I love that last word balloon.

“UmÂ… what?”

Looks like the Goddess used too many big words.

Okay, more of an art critique I guess.

When I saw this page, one thing jumped out at me (okay, two things, but I’m almost immune to Eric Masterson’s Love Mullet by now).

If the Odinson’s belt was any higher, it would be around his chest.

It’sÂ… it’sÂ…

Gha! Kill it! Kill it dead now Eric, before it breeds!

Someone seems to like it painful (and a little messy).

Actually he’s not doing as well as Loki thinks. He just forgot the Safety Word again.

As most comic geeks know, Thor’s hammer Mjolnir has the following inscription:

“Whosoever holds this hammer, if he be worthy, shall possess the power of Thor.”

Very few people can lift Mjolnir. I think the list consists of Odin, Thor, Captain America, Spider-Man 2099, Thor’s son from an alternate future (two, actually), Captain America’s daughter from an alternate reality, and Beta Ray Bill. Oh, and Eric Masterson could.

Explain that to me, please.

Witness how the “worthy” one reacts to his ex-wife’s husband politely informing Eric of his desire to adopt their son (well, after trying to slug him).

Then again, Thor was a Viking deity. Maybe the destruction of the property of others actually goes in the plus column.