What Were They Thinking?!

The Adventures of Ted, Wonder Lover

typolad — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 04:00:54 +0000

Taken from a page of issue 60…

Oh yeah, there’s the whole “how did getting the ability to see give the Lamplighter the ability to shapeshift”, but I noticed something else.

It took the powers a half hour to wear off… wow, Gloria must have really been concentrating on Ted.

Please tell me women really didn’t go for lines like that.

What an Origin!

typolad — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 04:00:01 +0000

Who is the Lamplighter, you ask? Good question. Let’s look at his origin!

Also, yet another example of someone who could have been insanely rich just by using the thing that gave him his powers.

The Criteria For Becoming a Green Lantern

typolad — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 04:00:47 +0000

Remember that bubble yesterday? A Green Lantern must be honest and without fear?

How’d Hal get the job again?

The One and Only Green Lantern, Folks!

typolad — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 04:00:54 +0000

Yay! Issue #59! The first appearance of almost no-body’s favorite Green Lantern.

This cover set the pattern for just about every single Guy Gardner story ever until the late 90’s.

For those unfamiliar with the character, we learn in this issue that Guy was the ring’s second choice for Green Lantern. He was just as fearless as Hal, but Hal was closer. I always thought that was a BS excuse – the ring is a deus ex machina – distance is not an issue.

Anyway. in #59 Hal finds out about Guy and asks the ring to show him what would happen if Guy had been GL instead of Hal.

So GL Guy ends up fighting the same exact menaces as GL Hal? With the exception of Sinestro, that seems like a bit of a stretch. Especially if we consider Star Sapphire.

How do things end for Guy in this alternate world though? Happily ever after, right?

That’s right folks – even if Guy had been Green Lantern, it would just be a side thing on the way to Hal becoming Green Lantern.

This whole story has the feel of Hal as the sitcom wife who finds pictures of her husband with his old college girlfriend, and has to convince her that no, she’s the real love of his life and the prettiest.

The Right to Arm Bears

typolad — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 04:00:38 +0000

Hal finally decides to not be a lazy jerk

After this… works somehow … we learn why the bear was chasing the kid in the first place:

Holy cow – I take back my Objectivist crack. Hal should have let nature take her course.

(and for all those wondering – yes, Hal does bang her).

Gosh, Too Bad.

typolad — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 04:00:23 +0000

After the Guardians see Hal’s freaky face, they tell him to go on vacation. When Hal Jordan vacations, he vacations hard…

Hal Jordan: Objectivist?

Repeated Themes

typolad — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 14:47:23 +0000

Hal is powerless? Must be a Wednesday.

Make it STOP!

typolad — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 04:00:58 +0000

Someone needs to end our long national nightmare of writers making puns of alien names.

Now you’re making me hate candy, comic books!

Oh this is annoying… a bunch of my images are zero sized files. Ah well, Moving on.

The DCU’s Love Affair with Batman

typolad — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 04:00:32 +0000

In case you thought the Batman can do ANYTHING concept was new…

Oh yes, your simple scientist brain, trained policeman mind, and forensic scientist training is nothing compared to that of Batman!

For Einstein’s sake, Atom, show some pride. You invented a fricking shrink ray.

The Earth is in Trouble!

typolad — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 04:00:23 +0000

Let’s summon Green Lantern

“Sure, the world is in danger, but we’re camping! I mean, finding America and junk.”