I’m not setting out to be a continuity freak. Really. This one is just so glaring, I couldn’t leave it be.
As some of you may recall, MJ was pregnant in the 90’s. She eventually gave birth, only the baby was stillborn.
Or.. was it?
Right after the baby was born we saw someone spirit something away and give it to an odd woman, Allison, who ran off on a boat to “take care of” the little bundle.
Later it was “revealed” that Osborn was the mastermind behind this whole thing, but they didn’t yet officially reveal who was being cared for. Except for the fact that Allison had tons of baby stuff. Plus she talks to her captive like it is a baby.
It was fairly obvious that Allison actually had baby Parker.
Somewhere along the line the powers that be at Marvel decided not to go that route (except Tom DeFalco). It was instead revealed that the person being cared for was Aunt May. The Aunt May who died in an earlier issue (years before Allison is brought in as a “caretaker”), was secretly an actress who somehow knew all these intimate details about Peter.
But wait, how to retcon all the baby stuff out, you ask? We can’t just ignore it, can we?
Oh that’s easy
I couldn’t get a good scan, but in the next issue, we find out there’s a dog in the crib. That’s who she’s been talking to – her dog. Her dog that she keeps in a crib.
What the fig?
Remember kids, babies… Bad. Marriage? Bad. Elder aunts? Awesomesauce.
We can’t have Spider-Man be more than a whining, stunted man-child, now can we?