August 14, 2006 

Poor Captain Marvel Junior..

So young Freddy Freeman is crippled by Captain Nazi and ends up being empowered by Captain Marvel.

Oh great, so now he doesn’t have to live life as a cripple.

Right?

Wrong!

“You will have to go through life in your own form…you little gimp.”

That’s just mean.



  • typolad

    So whenever he speaks Captain Marvel’s name, he becomes Captain Marvel Jr?

    Worst. Magic word. Ever. At least Captain Marvel himself has Shazam, which is a word you’re not likely to speak when you don’t want to become Captain Marvel. In fact, if Freddy was to read what I just wrote out loud, he’d do the switching thing four times in the span of just a few seconds.

    “Look! Up there in the sky! It’s Captain Mar – uh, that big red guy with the cape!”

    twentythoughts
    2006-08-14 11:21 am UTC
    ————————

    He’s the only superhero who can’t say his own damned name. If no one’s around to introduce him, does he have to resort to pantomime?

    v_voltaire
    2006-08-14 12:06 pm UTC
    ———————–

    Maybe he resorts to that spelling thing people with dogs do when their dog starts jumping around at the mere mention of a hike. “Never fear, innocent bystanders! Captain M-A-R-V-E-L Jr. comes to rescue you!”

    twentythoughts
    2006-08-14 12:31 pm UTC

  • typolad

    Not only that, but what happens when he’s in battle side by side with Billy Batson and needs help?

    CMJ: “Oh shit, the Nazis got me! Captain Marvel, help!”
    BOOM
    Nazis: “A little boy! Fire!”

    lots42
    2006-08-14 03:18 pm UTC

  • typolad

    In Alan Moore’s Miracleman series, that very idea was used to kill Young Miracleman. “Oh man, an atomic explosion, hey Miracla-”

    jessek
    2006-08-14 10:28 pm UTC

  • typolad

    I love how they are self-aware at the end that they are comic book characters.

    “I’m going to send you into Master Comics to take care of Captain Nazi.”

    naladahc
    2006-08-14 11:51 am UTC
    ————————

    Mmm…imagine the heads exploding if that happened in-text these days. :)

    missratbat
    2006-08-14 01:31 pm UTC
    ———————–

    It would in a Dan Slott comic

    zodarzone
    2006-08-14 04:34 pm UTC
    ———————–

    Or a Deadpool comic

    zachbeacon
    2006-08-15 12:43 am UTC
    ———————–

    Yeah, baby, yeah.

    sinners_dance
    2006-08-15 12:57 am UTC
    ———————–

    Do I still think in those little yellow boxes?

    zachbeacon
    2006-08-15 01:12 am UTC

  • typolad

    Also, the one thing about Captain Marvel (and now Jr. as well) that’s an even bigger problem than Clark Kent putting on glasses and hunching over to look less like Superman (that at least works when you’ve got the right acting skills, as the first Superman movie proved): Whenever Billy Batson turns into Captain Marvel, or Freddy Freeman turns into Jr., there’s a GIANT FLASH OF LIGHTNING! And he often does it while people standing three feet from him have their backs turned, too. “Oh, hello, Capt. Marvel! Do you know where Billy Batson went off to! He was standing right where you are just before that giant flash of lightning struck!”

    twentythoughts
    2006-08-14 12:35 pm UTC
    ———————–

    Hee. Modern Day DCU, Batson’s hometown of Crapville is considered the lightning strike capital of the world.

    lots42
    2006-08-14 03:19 pm UTC

  • typolad

    Wait a minute, I think we’re missing an important question.

    Does Captain Marvel Jr. get his own Negro?

    -Matt, incredibly offensive on purpose
    2006-08-14 03:27 pm UTC

  • typolad

    As a gimp, I would like to state that if given the power of Shazam, there is no way in hell I would ever change back to my non-powered state, leaving my braces, canes, crutches and other orthotic devices to be turned into a series of novelty lamps.

    jtron
    2006-08-14 08:13 pm UTC
    ———————–

    I always wondered why any of the various Marvels reverted, Billy especially.

    “Let’s see, in this form I can fly, survive any attack, headbutt a battleship into submission, look great in tights, buy beer, and have legal sex. In my other form, I’m a broke-ass orphan with one sweater and four pubes. Screw childhood, man.”

    noahbrand
    2006-08-14 08:24 pm UTC

  • typolad

    The other crap deal that Captain Marvel, Jr., got? He had to time-share his power. No joke. If Mary and Cap weren’t using the power of Shazam, CMJ was as powerful as either of them. One Shazam out of either of them, and he got weaker. If both were on the Shazam line, CMJ wasn’t really that powerful at all.

    Ah well, at least he was still Elvis’s favorite superhero.

    dernjg
    2006-08-15 04:18 pm UTC
    ————————

    That’s a latter-day invention. Until some idiot decided that (a) The Marvel Family had to fit into the DCU and (b) it had to be a self-referential continuity wankfest like everything else they publish, there was never any mention of any power-sharing. All three of them had the same power regardless of who else was powered-up. Heck, Cap, Mary and all three Lieutenants Marvel could be in uniform and kicking butt and Junior was still just as powerful as ever.

    DC Screwed over the Marvel family every way they could think of.

    MacQ, bitterly
    2006-08-16 09:17 pm UTC