What Were They Thinking?!

This’ll be fun for some of the regulars:

Magnetic waves. Of course. That makes perfect sense.

Detective John Jones is tracking a criminal to Africa, which we all know is just a giant jungle with no cities or anything. Circumstances force him to use his powers, but there’s a catch!

With J’onn’s previously seen abilities of shape-shifting or even simple invisibility (which he used to stay under the radar in his earliest adventures), surely J’onn will have a humdinger of a disguise, right?

…

Yes, because G-d forbid he become an African. I guess he can only shape shift into white people?

Does “Martian Racism” count as a power? Maybe “Martian Political Incorrectness”?

Did you know that J’onn had a brother?

Guess his name. G’wan (no, that isn’t it), guess!

groan

While this is not, technically, a Martian power, the lameness of the pun fills me with the desire for said shot. Join me, won’t you?

And now I have “It’s not Unusual” stuck in my head.

There’s a thawed caveman loose in Gotham! It must be Wednesday.

Kathy Kane, aka Batwoman, teams up with our intrepid adventurers as they prepare the trap the Neolithic Nightmare. Well, she tries to anyway.

Batman’s right! They’re trying to capture an escaped monster, one most likely driven mad by over-stimulation. What a time to be thinking about food! What’s next?

Oh. Using the food to trap the monster? That’s a really, really good idea Batwoman.

Note to all: Never, ever think faster on your feet than Batman. It pretty much assures that you’ll be retconned out. If you’re lucky he won’t insult you first.

One of the scariest bad guys ever.

Steve: The Pantsless Giant

Batman has undergone another strange transformation!

Run, run from the high-contrast menace that he has become!

One wonders if this was some sort of “subtle” racial commentary?

I doubt it. Doesn’t stop it from being silly though.

In Detective #268, Batman develops strange powers, including super strength. This is not the first or last time he’ll get super powers. Still, it’s notable for the below.

Ah, Gotham architecture! Despite being on fire and having no apparent foundation (and note the lack of any sort of utility connections), the building can be flung into the air without falling apart.

Plus, one has to wonder if Batman has thought this out. It has to come down somewhere, right?

Riiiight.

Here’s the full scene

Not only does the building survive being thrown into space at a high velocity, it apparently survives atmospheric reentry, and lands on the same spot despite the rotation of the Earth and Batman can catch the building, as though that would damp the momentum of the thing.

That building has to be made of Amizonium of Supermanium or something, because if it were a normal building, he’d be lucky to rip one chunk off, and when he threw it up it would crumble apart, burying the crowd under burning rubble.

Suspension of disbelief.FAIL.

Anyone else ever wonder how Batman stays so rich?

Because he’s a cheap bastard.

“Ten bucks and change? For that, you can go un-avenged, Bruce.”

Added The Wordbook App to my facebook profile. Let’s see if this works.